Razor Blade

  

Blow out the candles

Smother the lights 

Things in the sun

Aren't meant for you and me 

Gentility hides rage

And blood bleeds blue 

Cold as ice 

And dark as sin 

Things in the night 

Have always made more sense 

For we don't expect kindness 

Or want love from them. 

You are broken, 

We walk a razor 

A precipice we dare not disturb. 

What does honesty mean 

To someone who can't feel 

Anything but regret? 

I hope you are better 

I hope you are proud 

For in the darkness, 

People can be brighter

And learn to live with themselves again.

A Reminder

For anyone who has managed to stumble onto this blog, hello! It's wonderful to have you. With all the insanity going on in the world right now, a lot of people are loosing connections - with family members, friends, strangers that might have become something more, and those you have yet to meet. When faced with tragedy and fear, our first instinct is to seek out a group, or a place you feel safe; there's safety in numbers, right? But this pandemic has forced everyone into seclusion, straining tensions with those you're living with. Please, as I'm sure you've been told, cooperate with quarantine. Try to avoid going outside when possible, keep clean and safe, and continue to participate in social distancing. It only works if all of us pitch in. 
However, terrible as it is, we're lucky to live in an age where most of us can access the internet. We can skype, call, text, and surf the web, things that our parents would have balked at as children. We can, for the most part, stay in contact with the people we love and are unable to reach. We can offer shoulders to lean on for those who are loosing someone, which is the beauty of instantaneous communication. 
But what about the great number of people who don't have these support systems? I am certain that there are individuals who don't have the friends or family that others do, who are hurting and inexplicably alone, wondering when it's supposed to get better. There are people for whom quarantine means absolute isolation, going slowly mad without anyone readily available to talk or to simply feel things out with. 
For those of you who are feeling most hopeless - entirely and completely on your own, somehow person-less in a world that supposedly hosts so many - I would just like to tell you that this isn't it. This is not all that life has to offer. Despite its madness and its ugly, especially at a time like this, there are better things just up ahead. I don't know when, or how you'll find them, but happiness exists, and it's waiting for you to find it. 
Life is far from easy. Things are going to happen that are going to shake you to your very core. You are going to continue hurting, even when you are trying your damnedest not to, but eventually that too will pass. You are going to lose some battles and win others, and you will be surprised by how much you can gain. The thing is, pain is a part of life. What gets thrown your direction may seem unbeatable and crushing, but there is always light at the end of the tunnel, no matter how dim or slippery. And there is an end to the tunnel, I promise you. 
For those of you who have made it this far, it is obvious that you're strong - much stronger than you know. Everyone, no matter how small or obscure, has a purpose. We grow up so differently because what we have to offer the world is as unique and universal as our fingerprints. You are not just another straggler on a meaningless plane, waiting for the next day to come around; you are alive. You have talent, probably hidden ones, and intelligence, and competence beyond what you believe you're capable of. You are worth something, and you should never forget that. 
If you are currently on your own, know this: the right people always come with time. I don't know when, I don't know who, and I don't know how; oftentimes it's the people we least expect who end up changing us for the better. They will love and value you just as much as you do them, and they will be the ones who stay. They can chase away the bad days with a horrible joke and make you laugh when you need to most. They can simply offer a hand to hold when you want to. Good, honest people do exist, though they're a dying breed. They are worth waiting for, and getting to know. In between them may be individuals who come and go, there one moment and gone the next. There will be disappointments and heartbreaks and yes, perhaps some deaths. But the people who are meant to stay will do so for as long as they are able. And even if someone is gone, it doesn't mean the love ends. Some things are meant to last, and compassion is one thing that fails to fade. Humanity has its failings, but it also has its rare moments of success where humans are human without any of their traditional callousness. When you find a home, it tends to stick. If you've lost one, it is rarely ever too late to rebuild. The important thing is to remember its solid foundations. 
I doubt this helped, but I think that it's something everyone should hear now and again. There is so much more to the world than the hand we are dealt. There is a greater capacity for achievement, for dreams, for sacrifice, and for goodness than we know. We are going to get through this together, even those of us who have been beaten down by it. Remember your kindness as well as your own ingenuity; you've got this. Now let's keep on keeping on for the next month. 

Yourself or Someone Like You

Outside there's light, 

Blinding and gold - 

Dripping with possibilities 

Warm, close to hold 

But the lantern glow is hard to grasp 

And while near, still too far 

For someone like me 

I was stumbling on my own 

Through this dark and narrow street 

Crashing into walls, 

Half-dead on weary feet 

Until you found me there, 

Sitting silent in the cold

Wondering how I'd ended up 

In that miserable empty fold 

But you let go too soon;

You showed me all the stars 

Yet how can I cope with darkness 

When you left me only scars? 

I don't know why I'm still alive 

I'm not sure I'll make it through 

If I'm forced again to roam without 

Yourself or someone like you 

Help me, help me, 

I never learned how 

To stop loving the ones 

Who have let me down 

Or left me in shambles, to bleed on my own 

Or left without warning, without any home 

I can't live off 

The memory of you 

It's just never enough 

And it's only half-true 

I forget how you smiled, 

The curve of your lips 

The weight of your gaze, 

Your tears and your rips 

It's all just a blur, 

A falsity, a lie 

Because I loved you 

And you didn't say goodbye 

But while you were here 

For the instant you came 

Your eyes shined like stardust 

When you said my name 

You could hold the light hostage, 

Keep the sadness at bay 

The hardest part of losing you 

Is losing feeling that way 

I don't know how long for 

Or if it's already too late

But for yourself or someone like you 

I will always patiently wait.